Uncertainty

 


Assalamualaikum everyone!
I hope that everyone is in a good health. xoxo
Its been awhile. I know I know! hahaha
Thank you so much to those who support me and encourage me to write more.
All this while I write and just keep it inside the draft box. hehehe

I have too much on my plate since last 2 weeks. Let's begin!

    Sometimes people make it obvious what's in their hearts, not necessarily through words but indirectly through their actions. Do we make what's in our hearts as obvious in return? Sometimes we try so hard to hide our thoughts and feelings because we are scared of the unknown. Foremost I am scared of being misunderstood. And because of all this, we tend to linger in a state of uncertainty, not knowing what to do because all we know is what we see and not what we hear. 
    
    Doubt and uncertainty are probably the two things that keep us from doing half of the things that we think of doing and that we regret not doing it later on. There is a pressing feeling within us that just wants to know what is meant to be and what is not. While we want to know the answers to some of the burning questions that we have, we often fail to do the simplest thing that we can do to get the answer. "Ask the question??". We live with the hope that it will magically answer itself with time, and our excuse is. If it's meant to be it will happen. We would rather it be not answered and kept inside rather than be asked and expose our thoughts. 

    Sometimes there are so many thoughts that would be much more beautiful if they were just kept as thoughts. Words sometimes don't do justice to our thoughts and feelings. They are better kept inside to last awhile rather than said and forgotten. Every thought has the right time to be verbalized, and every feeling has the right time to be expressed. Meanwhile, enjoy the thought, enjoy the feeling, and give them the time they deserve to be as strong as you want them to be.

    I have a thought on... just because someone doesn't acknowledge what you do, it does not mean they don't see it. People are selective in making obvious what they see about you. They may acknowledge it in their hearts but avoid allowing you to see that. They may avoid that simply because they think it's expected of you and not anything that you need praise for. Don't evaluate yourself through people's words or through their praise. Let the sincerity in your heart see the sincere acknowledgment in other people's heart.

    Remember that not everyone you meet will give you the respect or love that you deserve. Respect them anyway. Love them anyway. No matter what you do be kind. It is better to be kind and be hurt than to be unkind cause pain. You were given the gift of a soft heart. So do not lose it. Do not allow your heart to harden. Just because someone caused you pain, it does not mean that everyone will. Just because someone betrayed your trust, it does not mean that others aren't trustworthy. Just because someone broke your heart, and to trust with a whole heart than to never experience the beauty of love, the reward of giving and the comfort of trusting. don't let all those of the uncertainty, break you apart. Get back up. Love again. Give again. Trust again. It is the experience that grows you, not the fear of it.


That's all for today. This post supposedly post on last december 2020 but today is already in the second day of 2021. Hehe. See you again real soon!

; Fs @ gadislensa.

Sometimes




Assalamualaikum everyone! 

Alhamdulillah , praised be to Allah S.W.T . Everyday is another chance to change our life.


Sometimes you have to live through the worst parts of life so you never take the best parts for granted.
Sometimes it hurts more to stay away from what hurts you than to keep allowing it to hurt you.
That's why you make excuses when they don't exist. That's why you create hope that, ironically, make you hopeless. That's why you put locks on doors before you try to open them. Not everyone we meet will give us the respect or love that we deserve. Respect them anyway. Love them anyway. No matter what we do, be kind. It is better to be kind and be hurt than to be unkind and cause pain.

Just because someone caused you pain, it does not mean that others aren't trustworthy.
Just because someone broke your heart, it does not mean that it will remain broke forever.

It is better to love with a whole heart, to give with a whole heart, and to trust with a whole heart than to never experience the beauty of love, the reward of giving, and the comfort of trusting.
This is all parts of the experience that grow us, not fear of it.

There will come a time when you will want to run away, to hide, to stop existing for a while.
My dear, it is on those days that you should raise up your hands up to the sky and call out to Allah and cry. Never did Allah say that this journey would be easy, but, countless times he has promised that he will be our "wali" (protective friend) through every moment of it. And yet we leave his company and run after the people and things that break us.

Sometimes I find it unfair, other people continue to judge me and badmouthing me for what they hear only from the other side. I've been accused of nothing for what i didn't do and misinterpreted. Every person on earth has problems of his or her own. You may look around and see that everyone else's life is perfect because they have what they want or what you wish you had. You may be feeling like you're living in a blurry view. You may not care about how you interact with those around you because you're so engulfed in your own troubles. Who knows that their troubles may be bigger than yours, worse than yours and more hurtful than yours. Just because I don't talk about them, doesn't mean they don't exist. Every thought has the right time to be verbalized, and every feeling has the right time to be expressed. The reason I write this not to gain your sympathy.  I am not saying I am perfect because we're all bad in someone's story.

You see, we all walk different paths. We struggle to be ourselves in a world that want us to be anything but ourselves. We know our own weaknesses and struggles, and you are the one who need to works to overcome them, so your strength means more to you than it could ever mean to anyone else. If you're not living my life, don't think you know how I should live it. It is easy to judge a person's decisions if we don't try to understand the reasons that led to those decisions. Gravitate toward those who assume the best in you, even at your worst.

I pray that all of us would be given the supernatural wisdom to find ways in overcoming the challenges you are facing today. And may you be blessed with the strength and commitment to carry through. Amiin.

see you again peeps!
xoxo


Love;
-fs-

Being STRONG is the only choice







Peace be upon to you, It’s been awhile since my last post about loving yourself.
Alhamdulillah,for everything. Every little things matter the most. I finished my diploma, in Jun 2019. Apparently I survived although I said I can’t endure this pain. Surprisingly I became stronger than before just because of this one person. Thank you for entering my life. I learned a lot for 3 years in Gombak. Malay people use to say this “asam garam kehidupan” gituuu. Im pretty sure everyone know that;

No one is sent by accident to anyone. They’re meant to cross our path for a reason. Either they’re a blessing or a lesson. The ones who build you up or the ones who tear you down. But in the end, you’ll thank them both for who you are now.

Diploma’s life just ended. I just finished my one step to a real world, I have many more steps to go, to endure and to struggle with. People come and go. I learned a lot that no one will stay in your life no matter how good you treat them. But that does not mean you should stop being kind to people. Do not change the kindness in you just because of one person that treat you badly.

 I trust this word “if he/she’s meant to be in your life he/she will be.”

I have a story to share, I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. Never in my life’s  plan to get separate with my favorite person. (let say I give her initial name Q) Allah took Q out from my life 8 months ago and today Allah returns Q back to me. We never contact each other. See? Who could even imagine this things will happen. I never had a thought that I will talk again to Q.I am so blessed and I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. In the end Allah will save the relationships with those who deserve to be in your life. Allah won’t give to you on what you WANT but Allah S.W.T will give on what you NEED. Allah will brings certain people in your life to teach you, inspire you, help you grow, make you laugh and make you strong.

If you know the things I went through, the experiences that left scars underneath my skin, you will realize how ugly I have been. Wonderful will be the last thing that comes to your mind whenever you lay your eyes upon me. But, I still loved myself and even getting proud of myself.

I received quite a lot of Dm's on “how to be strong like you”. I am not that strong actually but being strong is the only choice I have. If I didn’t do it then who else will?  Let’s zoom in a little bit deeper, if I choose to give up, what will happen to me now? I am not sure I will be here to write this post. Whenever you feel like giving up with your life, remind yourself of how far you have come from a place you never thought you’d get out of. Even you might not be where you want to be yet, still acknowledge and be proud of the growth you’ve achieved so far. You made it this far, do not give up now. Just remember that better days are coming. Yesterday might be crazy, today might be worse, but better days are coming. Have faith in Allah always. Trust me that Allah’s timing is perfect in every matter. We don’t always understand the wisdom behind it, but we have to learn to trust it.

I still remember when I was so down with my life, where my parents went to perform hajj, and Allah sent me lots of tests, too many people who I loved the most left me alone. And I felt lost for that moment. I am the eldest and I don’t have sister or brother to share with. In that time I hold a lot of commitment, where I need to check up on my mom’s kindergarten, I need to check on my little brother in Tahfiz.

Im super glad that I have a maid who I can trust with taking care of the house and my little brother. Not to forget, my sahabat! I am so grateful that I have super supportive roommates who always cheer me up whenever I feel down, giving me hug when I need. Allah won’t simply take out someone in your life without replacing a better one.

Here’s a little bit reminder for all who are currently struggling with yourself. It’s okay for not knowing the answers yet. It’s okay to be a little bit lost, scared, and forget how it is to figure things out. It’s okay to stop for a moment and forgive yourself for being a work of art in progress. It’s okay to bleed and have scars here and there. It’s okay to fail and get back once again when you’re ready. It’s okay to go one step at a time, to take things slow. And to be gentle to yourself. Because every good things take time. Remember that! 

I know it’s hard to stay strong and optimist all the time, there are time when you crumble and collapse but that’s alright. You can always learn to stand up back. Sometimes Allah will ask you to release the thing you want the most. That’s a test. If you past the test, at some point, He’ll either give back what you want or He’ll bring something better in your life.
To anyone who are currently struggle with their emotion and surrounding just to let you know that you’re mattered, you’re loved and you’re needed.

Today,
Kiss your scars,
Apologies your heart.

Today,
Fall in love with yourself.

Strength is not always in what we say and do, sometimes it is in what we are silent about, in what we leave or ignore. Life is a learning process. If you think you want to change do not hesitate but do it now. Don’t procrastinate. The clock ticks. And it will always be. If Allah said it is for you, it will be yours. If Allah said it is not for you, you try so hard it is not going to be yours. Kun Faya Kun. (Tuhan kata jadi, Maka jadilah). Just deep the fact that Allah S.W.T has protected us from so many things we didn’t even know about and He has blessed us with so many things we didn’t even pray for and yet we still complain. Be grateful.
P/s : Thank you to all my close friends who checking up on me. I remembered this one time they said “It’s so hurtful seeing you like this.” Now, I found my strength and myself back again and I’m really grateful.

I end my writing with this quote;

 “If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”

Sincerely:
Fs.

Love Yourself




Peace be upon to you.

 Love yourself so you know what you deserve.
Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are.
It's okay if you are short, fat, tall, thin, chubby, dark, white.
Among all sperm that try to swim and win the race just to get out and see the world, its you the one that Allah choose to grow up in this cruel world. You are the winner of yourself.


After all, some of us including me sometimes tend to forgot to love myself.
I may regret many things. Words I say, words I didn't say.
Decisions I made. Decisions I didn't make.
Feelings I expressed. People I listened to. People I confided in.
Questions I ask, answers I gave. Promises I made, promises I believed.

Reflecting is essential but regret should not ground you in the past.You should be grateful that you have a conscious mind that realizes what is right and wrong.You should give yourself strength to wisely use your present to make your future better. Love yourself and know yourself better.

Never aim to be understood by others before you understand yourself. You know your weaknesses and struggles, and you are the one who works to overcome them. So, your strength means more to you than it could ever mean to anyone else. If you don't stop judging yourself, putting yourself down, believing that this is as good as you can be then you've closed doors for yourself before they even appear in front of you. You've become a slave of your past.

Don't expect to be who you want to be without being true to yourself and believing in yourself.
Who else gonna believe in yourself if it is not you ?
If you don't believe in yourself, don't expect anyone to believe in you.
If you don't see the best in yourself, don't expect anyone to see the best in you.
If you make yourself believe that you need people to accept you, then you are giving them the right to reject you.

You don't need anyone to accept you.
You can't make anyone understand you.
You can't make anyone to love you, listen to you, trust you or even like you.
It's you and yourself.

No one knows what you need to do more than you do.
Cry when you need to. It's relieving.
Laugh when you need to. It's healing.
Sit alone when you need to. It's eye-opening.

You are more worthy of being taken care of than anyone around you. I mean the care that your soul needs. Everyone around us is struggling somehow. Do not allow the fear of failing to stop you from jumping. Do not allow the fear of exposure to stop you from shining. Happiness is in our own hands.
so why you need to bother others to love you perfectly, if you can love yourself better?
Treat yourself better, recite an Al-Quran, go shopping, reward yourself, go for a holiday, spend your quality time with your family, go out and explore the world.

Before you expect people to put themselves in your shoes, put yourself in your own shoes.
Worry about changing what you need to change.
Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel that being a good person is something bad.
Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel that you need to prove anything to them.

Believe in yourself. Believe in goodness. Live  your life the way you know you want to.
Believe me after you know yourself better, you will live happily and the less nonsense you'll tolerate.
It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary.

See you again on my next post!
Fi Hifzillah
-Fs.

A MESSY HEART AND HEAVY SHOULDERS



Peace be upon to you,  Alhamdulillah it's the month of Ramadhan again.
This is what I have been waiting for.

All praised be to Allah for this journey.
Remember don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
It's been too long that I didn't update any post on my blog. So I just want to take this chance to update a post at least.

Before that, I would like to say Thank You for those who were there to support me, sending prayers, lending a hug, wipe out my tears, stand by besides me and trying to create a smile back on my face. May Allah repay back your kindness.

Through out last semester till this short semester, I down for a frequent times. But sometimes I told to myself  "it's okay to cry". Life has knocked me down a few times, it showed me things I never wanted to see. I experienced sadness and failures. But one thing for sure I always need to get up.

I cried a lot on last semester and also on past few days. Like the most horrible and so ugly kind of crying that you would never imagined of, not just like tears. But it was a really hard sobbing. I guess the last time when i was crying so bad is when I have a sharing session with my favorite person at the lake.
Because I let it all out and thank you to that person for lending me your ears and calming me out.

"Why in the world you need to cry? You shouldn't have to cry, you have everything! Your life is perfect."- unknown

 I cried because of work, and with everything else.
At the end of the day I am still a normal human like you guys who have heart and feeling, and I am not a robot.
Sometimes Allah allows us to fall because there's something down there we're supposed to find.

I am telling you this not for seeking an attention, but I don't want any of you to think that I already have everything. No..
I am trying to be a positive person, I try to see the good in every situation that happens in my life, I try to see the good in people, I work hard, I will always make sure people around me happy and I will always prioritizes all the person that I love first than me. I enjoy the things I do and I also love my life.
But that doesn't mean that I don't have any problems or my life is perfect.

Sometimes I do get Direct Message from a really kind person out there and also from people around me. That they see me as an inspiration and they also want to live that kind of life that I live.
I am not saying that it is not good, what is good can be used as a guide, and what is not good can be used as a lesson.

I took this chance to share about what I've learnt through out all this phase.
Which is what I wanted to shared it to you. On past few days, I cried. I had a really really bad day and a tough time.

Never underestimate the pain of each person, because in all honesty Everyone is struggling. Just some people are better at hiding it than others. Everyone has problems no matter how perfect that person are. or how good or kind or calm or inspiring person. He or she has his or her own flaws. We never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, mocking or criticizing others. Everyone is fighting their own unique war!

Wallahi, to be honest the good you see in me. It is just really that Allah is the one who hiding all of my terrible flaws.

so after this, if you're willing to continue join this journey with me, I hope you know that I'm just like you. That I cry too, I get scared too, I have my own insecurity too, I make mistakes too, I get angry, I get impatient, And I do silly things, and there is a time I messed it all up too. I hope you don't even think that I have everything all together because i really don't.
And I am not perfect.

Perfection only happens in Paradise. Only Allah is perfect, nobody is perfect in this world Nobody has the ability to make things perfect but we are given chances to make things right. We all are so full of flaws, but yet Allah is always forgive us. Allah still protect us, Allah still love us for no matter what we did.

Remember, when sadness fill your heart and tears flow in your eyes.
Always remember 3 things;

ALLAH is with you, still with you and always with you.

"Indeed Allah s.w.t loves those who rely (upon HIM)" Al Quran 3:159


Ramadhan doesn't come just to change our schedule. It comes to change our hearts too..
I feel  more relieved after write this up.
This is also a reminder foremost to myself.
Will let you read it again at the next post.
Inshaallah, Happy Iftar!

Sincerely;
FS

Exposed

Peace be upon to you,


Have a great day everyone,
It's true that when you find Allah, happiness finds you.
I know right at this moment, everyone's trying their best at life. We all struggle, we all have insecurities and we all want to succeed. So please be nice to one another.

How I wish i can be strong all the time and never fragile. Sometimes i feel like giving up just because I'm extremely exhausted emotionally and physically but i don't have a choice but to hold on and continue to chase over my dreams. Don't stop just because you're tired. Remember one thing that your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep the faith. It will all be worth in the end.

It's normal in life that we will went through ups and down. Because life is like a bicycle sometimes we are at up zone and sometimes we will be at down. But that doesn't mean you need to stop doing what you did currently. You just need to take a break from everything you do. Am i right? Allah knows what we feel inside. Everything will fall into place, you just gotta be patient with it.

Sometimes we don't know how to tell that person how we feel.
Sometimes we don't know how to explain in words on what currently happening with us.
It's okay to have a bad day. You don't have to be strong all the time.
It's okay if you feel like wanna cry for the whole day, because sometimes the sky also crying.
It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Sometimes you just need someone be with. All you need is one person to believe in you and the world is yours. Yes just one.

You know what? I appreciate happy days so much knowing it does not come easy these days.
Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize  that you've lost the moon while counting the stars.

To the person I Loved the most i know you know who you are. Never doubt about my love towards you. The most precious gift i can give to you is the gift of my time and attention. Which that time I spend the most with you i won't get it back. Because time is golden. I am always here praying for you from far. Good or bad just smile. You have a lot to be thankful for. I can't promise that things will be perfect, but I swear i'll never leave. 

 Mistakes make us human. failures help us grow. Hope keeps us going. And love is the reason we're alive. Keep learning, loving and living. I still think about you. Everything is better with you around. I miss us so much when we are apart that i begin to look at old messages from you to make me feel better.


Keep smiling. Make them wondered how you can still smiling even on your bad days. The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. The kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

See you again!
lots of love,
-FS

STAY HAPPY!

Peace be upon you to all my readers, 



Alhamdulillah for another day and feeling bless to see again all the people that I loved,
I was having a great deep conversation last night and it is such a memorable things. I appreciate it. Thank you for your time fav person!

Right now, I’m on road to final exam. May Allah ease me and all of my friends that will face this upcoming final Exam, pray for us <3.


Code : Black Espresso

I was feeling down for past few days and after I spend my own time at the café yesterday. I give myself a break time, a break from my own thoughts. I just have a thought on all the reasons I held on for so long after I went through everything. Suddenly, I just feel like something has knocked my head and I realised that I should go on with my life right now and I need to continue back what I was doing before this. 

Now I’m back with a positive SYASYA and this post is just a sharing thingy for you guys so if any of you going through the same situation like me then you should read this post. Probably it may be suit for you.

Why need to stay sad? 
When you can be happy for all time. Right?!



Here is a little bit reminder or sharing moment for all people out there who are currently need something to stay positive or if you feel like giving up with your life right now. It’s okay to stay sad for the moment, sometimes we will feel down, regret on what we were doing before this and sometimes we will have that feeling of giving up with whatever we do that time. 

But before that, remember back all the reasons you held on for so long. How hard you went through everything to be at your stage right now. 

When some things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for the many more things that are still going right. Give yourself a chance, give your wounds a chance to show you something beyond this sadness. Take your time and take a break from everything. Have a rest for the moment and remain silent. Think back all the things you had done, all the people around you who still loves you and care for you. 

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn. 
As long as you have Allah you have no reason to lose hope or give up.
May Allah ease the pain of every heart that’s suffering in silence.

Being positive doesn’t mean you choose to ignore life’s problems. It means you trust that Allah will find a way out if you do your best. No matter how bad the situation may be, there are always other people who have it worse. Be grateful. Put more trust to Allah. Trust Allah. You are just one part of the puzzle. The bigger picture tells a different story and once it’s complete, it all make sense. Allah knows what we feel inside.

“And Allah is with you wherever you’re” (54:7)

How to stay happy?


1.       You need to choose to be happy, first! Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

2.       Forgive yourself. Forgive all those things that hurt you. Forgive all the people around you, either you make the wrong deed or others. Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong, it just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.


3.       Listen to yourself. Listen to how you talk to yourself. Your inner self need you more than others. When you love yourself, you know you’re good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms. Loving yourself means accepting that you’re stuck inside your own flaw.

4.       Accept yourself for who you are. Accept everything you have right now. When you love yourself, you try to be the best person you can be in the body that you have, and that’s as much as you can do. Appreciate every single thing that you do. Be grateful for everything you have in your life right now. Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear.


5.       Eliminate all those toxic people in your place. What did I mean by toxic people is remove all those people who always underestimate you and who always give you negative vibes. All the people who always talk bad things about you. They all are the toxic in your life, there’s no reason to hold on them.

6.       Surround yourself with a positive and good surrounding. The more positive people around you, automatically you will get influenced to stay positive and BE HAPPY too! Always see the positive things in every negative events.


7.       Give yourself a space. Don’t limit your own limit. Don’t underestimate your own power and your own abilities.

8.       Reward yourself.

9.       Plan for your future success.


10.   Change the way you think and say towards bad things and turn it into a positive side. For example like, change “I think I can do it” to “I need to make it success”. Always be good to everyone around you no matter how bad they treat you.


There are lot of things to do on how to stay happy, this is just part of it. Actually, to be happy is a choice not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be Happy. Your Happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. Happiness comes when you stop complaining about the troubles you have, and thank Allah for the trouble you don’t have.

I strongly believes everything that happens in our lives by the will of Allah is to teach us a lesson; either make us stronger or humble us. Because, Allah doesn’t test us for no reason. Believe me patience will lead you to your true Happiness. 
Why need to be sad? When there is a lot of things to be happy with. 
Stay happy peeps!

Allah also has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles and a reward for your faithfulness. Don’t give up!


When you have faith in Allah, He will show you a way. 
Allah will make a way out for you. Be patient and keep praying.

No one loves you more than Allah,
No one knows you more than Allah,
No one benefits you more than Allah,
No one understands you more than Allah.

Whatever challenge you’re currently facing, it’s no match for Allah. Keep your faith. Allah will always deliver the best for you.




That’s all what I can share to every each of you, stay positive and don’t forget that your vibe attract your tribe. Now I need to continue focus on mya ssig
See you again on my next posts!
FI hifzillah everyone.

-FS
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