Uncertainty

 


Assalamualaikum everyone!
I hope that everyone is in a good health. xoxo
Its been awhile. I know I know! hahaha
Thank you so much to those who support me and encourage me to write more.
All this while I write and just keep it inside the draft box. hehehe

I have too much on my plate since last 2 weeks. Let's begin!

    Sometimes people make it obvious what's in their hearts, not necessarily through words but indirectly through their actions. Do we make what's in our hearts as obvious in return? Sometimes we try so hard to hide our thoughts and feelings because we are scared of the unknown. Foremost I am scared of being misunderstood. And because of all this, we tend to linger in a state of uncertainty, not knowing what to do because all we know is what we see and not what we hear. 
    
    Doubt and uncertainty are probably the two things that keep us from doing half of the things that we think of doing and that we regret not doing it later on. There is a pressing feeling within us that just wants to know what is meant to be and what is not. While we want to know the answers to some of the burning questions that we have, we often fail to do the simplest thing that we can do to get the answer. "Ask the question??". We live with the hope that it will magically answer itself with time, and our excuse is. If it's meant to be it will happen. We would rather it be not answered and kept inside rather than be asked and expose our thoughts. 

    Sometimes there are so many thoughts that would be much more beautiful if they were just kept as thoughts. Words sometimes don't do justice to our thoughts and feelings. They are better kept inside to last awhile rather than said and forgotten. Every thought has the right time to be verbalized, and every feeling has the right time to be expressed. Meanwhile, enjoy the thought, enjoy the feeling, and give them the time they deserve to be as strong as you want them to be.

    I have a thought on... just because someone doesn't acknowledge what you do, it does not mean they don't see it. People are selective in making obvious what they see about you. They may acknowledge it in their hearts but avoid allowing you to see that. They may avoid that simply because they think it's expected of you and not anything that you need praise for. Don't evaluate yourself through people's words or through their praise. Let the sincerity in your heart see the sincere acknowledgment in other people's heart.

    Remember that not everyone you meet will give you the respect or love that you deserve. Respect them anyway. Love them anyway. No matter what you do be kind. It is better to be kind and be hurt than to be unkind cause pain. You were given the gift of a soft heart. So do not lose it. Do not allow your heart to harden. Just because someone caused you pain, it does not mean that everyone will. Just because someone betrayed your trust, it does not mean that others aren't trustworthy. Just because someone broke your heart, and to trust with a whole heart than to never experience the beauty of love, the reward of giving and the comfort of trusting. don't let all those of the uncertainty, break you apart. Get back up. Love again. Give again. Trust again. It is the experience that grows you, not the fear of it.


That's all for today. This post supposedly post on last december 2020 but today is already in the second day of 2021. Hehe. See you again real soon!

; Fs @ gadislensa.

Sometimes




Assalamualaikum everyone! 

Alhamdulillah , praised be to Allah S.W.T . Everyday is another chance to change our life.


Sometimes you have to live through the worst parts of life so you never take the best parts for granted.
Sometimes it hurts more to stay away from what hurts you than to keep allowing it to hurt you.
That's why you make excuses when they don't exist. That's why you create hope that, ironically, make you hopeless. That's why you put locks on doors before you try to open them. Not everyone we meet will give us the respect or love that we deserve. Respect them anyway. Love them anyway. No matter what we do, be kind. It is better to be kind and be hurt than to be unkind and cause pain.

Just because someone caused you pain, it does not mean that others aren't trustworthy.
Just because someone broke your heart, it does not mean that it will remain broke forever.

It is better to love with a whole heart, to give with a whole heart, and to trust with a whole heart than to never experience the beauty of love, the reward of giving, and the comfort of trusting.
This is all parts of the experience that grow us, not fear of it.

There will come a time when you will want to run away, to hide, to stop existing for a while.
My dear, it is on those days that you should raise up your hands up to the sky and call out to Allah and cry. Never did Allah say that this journey would be easy, but, countless times he has promised that he will be our "wali" (protective friend) through every moment of it. And yet we leave his company and run after the people and things that break us.

Sometimes I find it unfair, other people continue to judge me and badmouthing me for what they hear only from the other side. I've been accused of nothing for what i didn't do and misinterpreted. Every person on earth has problems of his or her own. You may look around and see that everyone else's life is perfect because they have what they want or what you wish you had. You may be feeling like you're living in a blurry view. You may not care about how you interact with those around you because you're so engulfed in your own troubles. Who knows that their troubles may be bigger than yours, worse than yours and more hurtful than yours. Just because I don't talk about them, doesn't mean they don't exist. Every thought has the right time to be verbalized, and every feeling has the right time to be expressed. The reason I write this not to gain your sympathy.  I am not saying I am perfect because we're all bad in someone's story.

You see, we all walk different paths. We struggle to be ourselves in a world that want us to be anything but ourselves. We know our own weaknesses and struggles, and you are the one who need to works to overcome them, so your strength means more to you than it could ever mean to anyone else. If you're not living my life, don't think you know how I should live it. It is easy to judge a person's decisions if we don't try to understand the reasons that led to those decisions. Gravitate toward those who assume the best in you, even at your worst.

I pray that all of us would be given the supernatural wisdom to find ways in overcoming the challenges you are facing today. And may you be blessed with the strength and commitment to carry through. Amiin.

see you again peeps!
xoxo


Love;
-fs-

Being STRONG is the only choice







Peace be upon to you, It’s been awhile since my last post about loving yourself.
Alhamdulillah,for everything. Every little things matter the most. I finished my diploma, in Jun 2019. Apparently I survived although I said I can’t endure this pain. Surprisingly I became stronger than before just because of this one person. Thank you for entering my life. I learned a lot for 3 years in Gombak. Malay people use to say this “asam garam kehidupan” gituuu. Im pretty sure everyone know that;

No one is sent by accident to anyone. They’re meant to cross our path for a reason. Either they’re a blessing or a lesson. The ones who build you up or the ones who tear you down. But in the end, you’ll thank them both for who you are now.

Diploma’s life just ended. I just finished my one step to a real world, I have many more steps to go, to endure and to struggle with. People come and go. I learned a lot that no one will stay in your life no matter how good you treat them. But that does not mean you should stop being kind to people. Do not change the kindness in you just because of one person that treat you badly.

 I trust this word “if he/she’s meant to be in your life he/she will be.”

I have a story to share, I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. Never in my life’s  plan to get separate with my favorite person. (let say I give her initial name Q) Allah took Q out from my life 8 months ago and today Allah returns Q back to me. We never contact each other. See? Who could even imagine this things will happen. I never had a thought that I will talk again to Q.I am so blessed and I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. In the end Allah will save the relationships with those who deserve to be in your life. Allah won’t give to you on what you WANT but Allah S.W.T will give on what you NEED. Allah will brings certain people in your life to teach you, inspire you, help you grow, make you laugh and make you strong.

If you know the things I went through, the experiences that left scars underneath my skin, you will realize how ugly I have been. Wonderful will be the last thing that comes to your mind whenever you lay your eyes upon me. But, I still loved myself and even getting proud of myself.

I received quite a lot of Dm's on “how to be strong like you”. I am not that strong actually but being strong is the only choice I have. If I didn’t do it then who else will?  Let’s zoom in a little bit deeper, if I choose to give up, what will happen to me now? I am not sure I will be here to write this post. Whenever you feel like giving up with your life, remind yourself of how far you have come from a place you never thought you’d get out of. Even you might not be where you want to be yet, still acknowledge and be proud of the growth you’ve achieved so far. You made it this far, do not give up now. Just remember that better days are coming. Yesterday might be crazy, today might be worse, but better days are coming. Have faith in Allah always. Trust me that Allah’s timing is perfect in every matter. We don’t always understand the wisdom behind it, but we have to learn to trust it.

I still remember when I was so down with my life, where my parents went to perform hajj, and Allah sent me lots of tests, too many people who I loved the most left me alone. And I felt lost for that moment. I am the eldest and I don’t have sister or brother to share with. In that time I hold a lot of commitment, where I need to check up on my mom’s kindergarten, I need to check on my little brother in Tahfiz.

Im super glad that I have a maid who I can trust with taking care of the house and my little brother. Not to forget, my sahabat! I am so grateful that I have super supportive roommates who always cheer me up whenever I feel down, giving me hug when I need. Allah won’t simply take out someone in your life without replacing a better one.

Here’s a little bit reminder for all who are currently struggling with yourself. It’s okay for not knowing the answers yet. It’s okay to be a little bit lost, scared, and forget how it is to figure things out. It’s okay to stop for a moment and forgive yourself for being a work of art in progress. It’s okay to bleed and have scars here and there. It’s okay to fail and get back once again when you’re ready. It’s okay to go one step at a time, to take things slow. And to be gentle to yourself. Because every good things take time. Remember that! 

I know it’s hard to stay strong and optimist all the time, there are time when you crumble and collapse but that’s alright. You can always learn to stand up back. Sometimes Allah will ask you to release the thing you want the most. That’s a test. If you past the test, at some point, He’ll either give back what you want or He’ll bring something better in your life.
To anyone who are currently struggle with their emotion and surrounding just to let you know that you’re mattered, you’re loved and you’re needed.

Today,
Kiss your scars,
Apologies your heart.

Today,
Fall in love with yourself.

Strength is not always in what we say and do, sometimes it is in what we are silent about, in what we leave or ignore. Life is a learning process. If you think you want to change do not hesitate but do it now. Don’t procrastinate. The clock ticks. And it will always be. If Allah said it is for you, it will be yours. If Allah said it is not for you, you try so hard it is not going to be yours. Kun Faya Kun. (Tuhan kata jadi, Maka jadilah). Just deep the fact that Allah S.W.T has protected us from so many things we didn’t even know about and He has blessed us with so many things we didn’t even pray for and yet we still complain. Be grateful.
P/s : Thank you to all my close friends who checking up on me. I remembered this one time they said “It’s so hurtful seeing you like this.” Now, I found my strength and myself back again and I’m really grateful.

I end my writing with this quote;

 “If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”

Sincerely:
Fs.

Love Yourself




Peace be upon to you.

 Love yourself so you know what you deserve.
Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are.
It's okay if you are short, fat, tall, thin, chubby, dark, white.
Among all sperm that try to swim and win the race just to get out and see the world, its you the one that Allah choose to grow up in this cruel world. You are the winner of yourself.


After all, some of us including me sometimes tend to forgot to love myself.
I may regret many things. Words I say, words I didn't say.
Decisions I made. Decisions I didn't make.
Feelings I expressed. People I listened to. People I confided in.
Questions I ask, answers I gave. Promises I made, promises I believed.

Reflecting is essential but regret should not ground you in the past.You should be grateful that you have a conscious mind that realizes what is right and wrong.You should give yourself strength to wisely use your present to make your future better. Love yourself and know yourself better.

Never aim to be understood by others before you understand yourself. You know your weaknesses and struggles, and you are the one who works to overcome them. So, your strength means more to you than it could ever mean to anyone else. If you don't stop judging yourself, putting yourself down, believing that this is as good as you can be then you've closed doors for yourself before they even appear in front of you. You've become a slave of your past.

Don't expect to be who you want to be without being true to yourself and believing in yourself.
Who else gonna believe in yourself if it is not you ?
If you don't believe in yourself, don't expect anyone to believe in you.
If you don't see the best in yourself, don't expect anyone to see the best in you.
If you make yourself believe that you need people to accept you, then you are giving them the right to reject you.

You don't need anyone to accept you.
You can't make anyone understand you.
You can't make anyone to love you, listen to you, trust you or even like you.
It's you and yourself.

No one knows what you need to do more than you do.
Cry when you need to. It's relieving.
Laugh when you need to. It's healing.
Sit alone when you need to. It's eye-opening.

You are more worthy of being taken care of than anyone around you. I mean the care that your soul needs. Everyone around us is struggling somehow. Do not allow the fear of failing to stop you from jumping. Do not allow the fear of exposure to stop you from shining. Happiness is in our own hands.
so why you need to bother others to love you perfectly, if you can love yourself better?
Treat yourself better, recite an Al-Quran, go shopping, reward yourself, go for a holiday, spend your quality time with your family, go out and explore the world.

Before you expect people to put themselves in your shoes, put yourself in your own shoes.
Worry about changing what you need to change.
Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel that being a good person is something bad.
Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel that you need to prove anything to them.

Believe in yourself. Believe in goodness. Live  your life the way you know you want to.
Believe me after you know yourself better, you will live happily and the less nonsense you'll tolerate.
It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary.

See you again on my next post!
Fi Hifzillah
-Fs.

A MESSY HEART AND HEAVY SHOULDERS



Peace be upon to you,  Alhamdulillah it's the month of Ramadhan again.
This is what I have been waiting for.

All praised be to Allah for this journey.
Remember don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
It's been too long that I didn't update any post on my blog. So I just want to take this chance to update a post at least.

Before that, I would like to say Thank You for those who were there to support me, sending prayers, lending a hug, wipe out my tears, stand by besides me and trying to create a smile back on my face. May Allah repay back your kindness.

Through out last semester till this short semester, I down for a frequent times. But sometimes I told to myself  "it's okay to cry". Life has knocked me down a few times, it showed me things I never wanted to see. I experienced sadness and failures. But one thing for sure I always need to get up.

I cried a lot on last semester and also on past few days. Like the most horrible and so ugly kind of crying that you would never imagined of, not just like tears. But it was a really hard sobbing. I guess the last time when i was crying so bad is when I have a sharing session with my favorite person at the lake.
Because I let it all out and thank you to that person for lending me your ears and calming me out.

"Why in the world you need to cry? You shouldn't have to cry, you have everything! Your life is perfect."- unknown

 I cried because of work, and with everything else.
At the end of the day I am still a normal human like you guys who have heart and feeling, and I am not a robot.
Sometimes Allah allows us to fall because there's something down there we're supposed to find.

I am telling you this not for seeking an attention, but I don't want any of you to think that I already have everything. No..
I am trying to be a positive person, I try to see the good in every situation that happens in my life, I try to see the good in people, I work hard, I will always make sure people around me happy and I will always prioritizes all the person that I love first than me. I enjoy the things I do and I also love my life.
But that doesn't mean that I don't have any problems or my life is perfect.

Sometimes I do get Direct Message from a really kind person out there and also from people around me. That they see me as an inspiration and they also want to live that kind of life that I live.
I am not saying that it is not good, what is good can be used as a guide, and what is not good can be used as a lesson.

I took this chance to share about what I've learnt through out all this phase.
Which is what I wanted to shared it to you. On past few days, I cried. I had a really really bad day and a tough time.

Never underestimate the pain of each person, because in all honesty Everyone is struggling. Just some people are better at hiding it than others. Everyone has problems no matter how perfect that person are. or how good or kind or calm or inspiring person. He or she has his or her own flaws. We never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, mocking or criticizing others. Everyone is fighting their own unique war!

Wallahi, to be honest the good you see in me. It is just really that Allah is the one who hiding all of my terrible flaws.

so after this, if you're willing to continue join this journey with me, I hope you know that I'm just like you. That I cry too, I get scared too, I have my own insecurity too, I make mistakes too, I get angry, I get impatient, And I do silly things, and there is a time I messed it all up too. I hope you don't even think that I have everything all together because i really don't.
And I am not perfect.

Perfection only happens in Paradise. Only Allah is perfect, nobody is perfect in this world Nobody has the ability to make things perfect but we are given chances to make things right. We all are so full of flaws, but yet Allah is always forgive us. Allah still protect us, Allah still love us for no matter what we did.

Remember, when sadness fill your heart and tears flow in your eyes.
Always remember 3 things;

ALLAH is with you, still with you and always with you.

"Indeed Allah s.w.t loves those who rely (upon HIM)" Al Quran 3:159


Ramadhan doesn't come just to change our schedule. It comes to change our hearts too..
I feel  more relieved after write this up.
This is also a reminder foremost to myself.
Will let you read it again at the next post.
Inshaallah, Happy Iftar!

Sincerely;
FS

Exposed

Peace be upon to you,


Have a great day everyone,
It's true that when you find Allah, happiness finds you.
I know right at this moment, everyone's trying their best at life. We all struggle, we all have insecurities and we all want to succeed. So please be nice to one another.

How I wish i can be strong all the time and never fragile. Sometimes i feel like giving up just because I'm extremely exhausted emotionally and physically but i don't have a choice but to hold on and continue to chase over my dreams. Don't stop just because you're tired. Remember one thing that your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep the faith. It will all be worth in the end.

It's normal in life that we will went through ups and down. Because life is like a bicycle sometimes we are at up zone and sometimes we will be at down. But that doesn't mean you need to stop doing what you did currently. You just need to take a break from everything you do. Am i right? Allah knows what we feel inside. Everything will fall into place, you just gotta be patient with it.

Sometimes we don't know how to tell that person how we feel.
Sometimes we don't know how to explain in words on what currently happening with us.
It's okay to have a bad day. You don't have to be strong all the time.
It's okay if you feel like wanna cry for the whole day, because sometimes the sky also crying.
It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Sometimes you just need someone be with. All you need is one person to believe in you and the world is yours. Yes just one.

You know what? I appreciate happy days so much knowing it does not come easy these days.
Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize  that you've lost the moon while counting the stars.

To the person I Loved the most i know you know who you are. Never doubt about my love towards you. The most precious gift i can give to you is the gift of my time and attention. Which that time I spend the most with you i won't get it back. Because time is golden. I am always here praying for you from far. Good or bad just smile. You have a lot to be thankful for. I can't promise that things will be perfect, but I swear i'll never leave. 

 Mistakes make us human. failures help us grow. Hope keeps us going. And love is the reason we're alive. Keep learning, loving and living. I still think about you. Everything is better with you around. I miss us so much when we are apart that i begin to look at old messages from you to make me feel better.


Keep smiling. Make them wondered how you can still smiling even on your bad days. The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. The kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

See you again!
lots of love,
-FS

STAY HAPPY!

Peace be upon you to all my readers, 



Alhamdulillah for another day and feeling bless to see again all the people that I loved,
I was having a great deep conversation last night and it is such a memorable things. I appreciate it. Thank you for your time fav person!

Right now, I’m on road to final exam. May Allah ease me and all of my friends that will face this upcoming final Exam, pray for us <3.


Code : Black Espresso

I was feeling down for past few days and after I spend my own time at the café yesterday. I give myself a break time, a break from my own thoughts. I just have a thought on all the reasons I held on for so long after I went through everything. Suddenly, I just feel like something has knocked my head and I realised that I should go on with my life right now and I need to continue back what I was doing before this. 

Now I’m back with a positive SYASYA and this post is just a sharing thingy for you guys so if any of you going through the same situation like me then you should read this post. Probably it may be suit for you.

Why need to stay sad? 
When you can be happy for all time. Right?!



Here is a little bit reminder or sharing moment for all people out there who are currently need something to stay positive or if you feel like giving up with your life right now. It’s okay to stay sad for the moment, sometimes we will feel down, regret on what we were doing before this and sometimes we will have that feeling of giving up with whatever we do that time. 

But before that, remember back all the reasons you held on for so long. How hard you went through everything to be at your stage right now. 

When some things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for the many more things that are still going right. Give yourself a chance, give your wounds a chance to show you something beyond this sadness. Take your time and take a break from everything. Have a rest for the moment and remain silent. Think back all the things you had done, all the people around you who still loves you and care for you. 

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn. 
As long as you have Allah you have no reason to lose hope or give up.
May Allah ease the pain of every heart that’s suffering in silence.

Being positive doesn’t mean you choose to ignore life’s problems. It means you trust that Allah will find a way out if you do your best. No matter how bad the situation may be, there are always other people who have it worse. Be grateful. Put more trust to Allah. Trust Allah. You are just one part of the puzzle. The bigger picture tells a different story and once it’s complete, it all make sense. Allah knows what we feel inside.

“And Allah is with you wherever you’re” (54:7)

How to stay happy?


1.       You need to choose to be happy, first! Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

2.       Forgive yourself. Forgive all those things that hurt you. Forgive all the people around you, either you make the wrong deed or others. Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong, it just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.


3.       Listen to yourself. Listen to how you talk to yourself. Your inner self need you more than others. When you love yourself, you know you’re good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms. Loving yourself means accepting that you’re stuck inside your own flaw.

4.       Accept yourself for who you are. Accept everything you have right now. When you love yourself, you try to be the best person you can be in the body that you have, and that’s as much as you can do. Appreciate every single thing that you do. Be grateful for everything you have in your life right now. Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear.


5.       Eliminate all those toxic people in your place. What did I mean by toxic people is remove all those people who always underestimate you and who always give you negative vibes. All the people who always talk bad things about you. They all are the toxic in your life, there’s no reason to hold on them.

6.       Surround yourself with a positive and good surrounding. The more positive people around you, automatically you will get influenced to stay positive and BE HAPPY too! Always see the positive things in every negative events.


7.       Give yourself a space. Don’t limit your own limit. Don’t underestimate your own power and your own abilities.

8.       Reward yourself.

9.       Plan for your future success.


10.   Change the way you think and say towards bad things and turn it into a positive side. For example like, change “I think I can do it” to “I need to make it success”. Always be good to everyone around you no matter how bad they treat you.


There are lot of things to do on how to stay happy, this is just part of it. Actually, to be happy is a choice not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be Happy. Your Happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. Happiness comes when you stop complaining about the troubles you have, and thank Allah for the trouble you don’t have.

I strongly believes everything that happens in our lives by the will of Allah is to teach us a lesson; either make us stronger or humble us. Because, Allah doesn’t test us for no reason. Believe me patience will lead you to your true Happiness. 
Why need to be sad? When there is a lot of things to be happy with. 
Stay happy peeps!

Allah also has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles and a reward for your faithfulness. Don’t give up!


When you have faith in Allah, He will show you a way. 
Allah will make a way out for you. Be patient and keep praying.

No one loves you more than Allah,
No one knows you more than Allah,
No one benefits you more than Allah,
No one understands you more than Allah.

Whatever challenge you’re currently facing, it’s no match for Allah. Keep your faith. Allah will always deliver the best for you.




That’s all what I can share to every each of you, stay positive and don’t forget that your vibe attract your tribe. Now I need to continue focus on mya ssig
See you again on my next posts!
FI hifzillah everyone.

-FS

VLOG or BLOG ?!







Assalamualaikum it's been awhile since my last post is all about rainbow.
I thought that i want to post something on this blog last week but i fell sick, having fever for a week. It's quite a long journey.
Since on Monday we're on holiday so I was given MC by a doctor for 2 days tuesday and wednesday. But on wednesday  i went back to hostel because i don't want to missed up any class. This sem is a short sem, so I need to struggle more.


so on last week thursday I went to Lazada's HQ for workshop.
And guess what I made a VLOG my first time ever doing VLOG.
I used to make a TRAVELOG but i never ever post it on any of my social media.
So i was thought to post something on my Youtube Channel, then I decide to make a VLOG.
I was record everything on that day. But the feeling of shy holding a camera and talking while walking with a lot of people around you, I still can't control it hahaha.
Slowly okay?

So I already done edit it actually and technically you know I can't upload it on Youtube.
That was pretty sad actually. Because i am so excited edit it in one day. (AMAZING RECORD) and I promised to upload it, because of the technically problem I can't upload it on time. I am trying to refix it so that I can upload it on my Youtube Channel. After I upload it I will tell you guys aite?

I am not going to tell you more about it at here.
Because I wanna you guys to watch my video yay.
Just click the link below and don't forget to subscribe it so you will know when I upload the video.

my Youtube Channel
I am proud of myself because I am the youngest candidates in that workshop.
I went there without Ummie and it is a breaking news ever. I bet people won't trust me doing that thingy without Ummie but I proved it already hahaha.

I think that's all for today, I will come back again with a new post ; the tips on how to study.
Give a comment below if you want a Tips On How to Study is on BLOG or VLOG.

 Thank you for the time.
Don't forget your vibes attract your tribe.
See you soon!
Assalamualaikum.

Sincerely,
Gadislensa

Instagram : @gadislensa
Twitter     : @gadislensa_

Alhamdulillah for another Rainbow





"It's been a rough journey for me, but in the end I still made it."


Assalamualaikum everyone, it's me syasya.
Before i wanna enjoy my beauty sleep time. I just wanna share a good news.
It was a hectic week i guess. Today, my mom's kinder have parent day session for 2017. Normally I will come and help by with anything i could. I got back home at 4pm and then I went out for lunch with ummie and ayah at restaurant. It's a late lunch act. Today is my last friday holiday, I have another 2 days more before my student's life start.

What is related with rainbow?
Alhamdulillah big praise to Allah SWT. I brought the good news for my parent 7 everyone around me. It was unexpected results since my second semester was really tough for me. I only took 5 subjects for my second semester. Alhamdulillah, I endure it! My hand still shaking since just now when i open my results online. My tears fall apart because it was like a surprise for me. I couldn't expect more.

So today at my mom's office i took a glance at system just to check out for class schedule suddenly the website took such a long time to upload. So i closed it. After I reached home, i open back the website and still can't open. So before maghrib i saw my classmates tweeting 

"Alhamdulillah."
 "Alhamdulillah, for another chance."

So i was like "results out already?"
Then i re-open the website again for confirmation YUPS THE RESULTS IS OUT. 
I was not ready yet act, but ya sooner or later i need to open it right?
My hand was shaking while i type my username and password. One by one digit goes out on the screen, my heart started to race non-stop. I was really scared. Seriously no joke. Because i'm scared that i make people around me feel disappointed with my results.

"PAP"

the results is out. my eyes terus lari like focus on my gpa and cgpa .

"ALHAMDULILLAH GUYS I DID IT!"

I'm not expected it, because I was really scared of my account and my microeconomic's paper. It was super memorable questions paper ever! I cried after i answered account's paper like regretting why i can't balance it blabla bla. So after answering the paper my expectation to maintain my pointer goes down. 

Only Allah, my parent, my roomates, Aina, Yani, Anis and people around me know how hard and how struggle I am to recap back the topic that I had missed out because I went to New Zealand early year.  I did ran to lecturers and forced Yani, Anis and others to tell me on whatever thingy that I left behind. 


"The more you give, the more you get."

"Kamu mudahkan kerja  orang, Allah mudahkan kerja kamu."

Those are the words I got from supportive people around me. I'm really thankful for every support that you guys gave to me. 

Then, after I checked on the results i ran to my mom and tell her the news. The first thing I saw on her face is "smile" and she said "Alhamdulillah"  and same goes to my dad.

(You know the feeling when your parent smile and you know the reason behind that smile is come from you i slike An Amazing thing)

But ya still I need to improve myself and maintain it for the next semester. I'm still grateful for everything because I know what I went through to be at here with all those thingy. Where the assignment, quiz and so on. Tough journey with the best landing. 
Yay!

I couldn't make it if it weren't a Doa' from my parent. A blessing from my parent and lecturers.
The more you teach your friend the more understand you get about that subject. 
I still have a few weakness on my results but I already did my best. I will make sure that my performance getting better for my next semester.



with my one and only one Ummie.


My big gratitude goes to my Ummie and Ayah for their non-stop Doa', positive vibes and support. Thank you to my friends, Anis,Jeeha, Aisyah Siti, Hawa, Iman, Nadia, Atikah and others for always helping me. Thank you to Yani for always stay with me at the library from semester 1 till semster 2 and I hope it will stay till our last semester. Thank you to my fav roommate Asyira, who always being there for me through thick and thin. Thank you to a few people who always encourage me for not giving up and keep giving positive vibes to me when i feel down. (You guys know who you are).
Last but not least, of course to my best lecturers ever. Luv everyone ya <3
Don't forget that hashtag #sistabah .




left (Jeeha) Right (Yani)


with my fav roommate, Asyira


Fav Classmates 
From left to right infront row  ( Hawa, me , Aisyah & Iman )
From left to right back row ( Nadia, Atikah, Siti, Jeeha)


The Cekelatun's team yeah <3





Of course not to forgot My best Girlfriend since school <3

Thank you again girls. Now I am done with my second semester. Let's move on to the next semester till the end.

See you guys back on my next post about Q&A session.
I got a few questions from a few people which is really bothering me to answer it. 
I feel so honored to answer that questions, i'll try my best okay?
Don't forget your vibes attract your tribe.
See you soon!

Sincerely,
Gadislensa

My love been STOLEN

Assalamualaikum good morning everyone.


Spread more positive vibe because Your vibe attracts your tribe.💞
Peeps!

Just because I have a semester break, so why not keep updating my blog aite?
Soon i'm gonna have short sem which is only like 2months and a few weeks and i am going to have another sem break for 3 weeks.
Perhaps i'm gonna be busy again and again.

So i'm just gonna talk about the thingy that you love the most. I bet that everyone have that "thingy" right? Same goes to me. What thingy?
Thingy like can be ur book, shirts, trousers, shawl or whatever thing that you like to use it or u must use it even though that thingy already broken, tear apart or even the thingy already look old school. You still prefer to use it and stare at it. Yes for sure everyone have!
Tell me yours at the comment below what is yours fav one and share me ur story.



I really love my pants. That pants i used since i was standard 4 till now i am 19.
Hahahahaahaha can u imagine how long i already used it 😂.
P/s: i know u must be asking u still can wear it?!

Yupps i can wear it till now.
Because i think that i'm not growing hahaha maybe im just growing with my fat  not my height. *sigh*
HAHAHAHAHA

Last Saturday, my maid were hanging up the laundry and she was hanging up my favourite pants that i used since standard 4 and she show it to my mom.
Then my mom took it and she tear it, i ran to the outside and screaming like no one live there. OMG! Can u imagine someone just tear up my fav pants.
T_T. It's so hurt you know. The reason why she tear it up because that pants already worn and torn here and there. So ya perhaps she wanna buy me a new one. But ya i'm still love with that pants okay! :')

I'm so speechless, i'm laughing and while that my tears fall act hahaha. Glad that I have 3 pairs. But she tear it two pairs already and i only left one. Perhaps if she read my blog im gonna hide it and bring it to my college. Hahahahahaha

So that night, my mom told my dad about my fav pants that already worn and torn. And my dad said
"you can buy a new dress and blouse but u can't buy a new pants?"

Gulp.. *thunderstorm*

It's not that i don't want to buy a new one. It's because that pants is like very comfy. I love to used it when i wear "Jubah" or "Baju kurung"

This is really unforgettable moment.

Oh ya guys i'm planning on to active back with my travelog update, vlog and etc. On my youtube channel. Perhaps u could subscribe "Gadislensa Enterprise" to know more about me.

My travelog update on blog i will update soon.
I need more time to update it.
Im so sorry about it.

My topic was that catchy aite. HAHAHAHAHA
Remember your vibe attracts your tribe.
See u at my next post.

Sincerely Fs🌷.

My first time met doctor by myself

Hella it's Saturday.A rest day is here!
I can't say that today is a rest day, but i can have a bit rest actually compare to other day.
It's been a hectic week for me and my friends i guess. We are crossing the #roadtofinal actually.

Throwback to last 2 friday-yay. (24 February 2017)
Most of you would roll your eyes reading this hahahaha."it's just a doctor syasya come on!"
But who care! For me is like an achievement. I am the one who dislike doctor and medicine very much. I am so proud of myself. Hahahaha
I'm so hard to fall sick but once i fell sick, i will make the situation getting hard toward my surrounding. Hahaha. If i got fever i will always check in to the hospital. I don't know why and it took roughly 5-6 days to getting better. And i won't go and meet the doctor by myself. Of course my ummie and my dad drag me to the doctor. 


Doctor crush :p

So last 2 week Gombak's weather is not so good. On last 2 Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday it was rainy day and it make me stucked on the road and need to wait till the rain is stop and i can continue my walk to the room from college. I exposed to rain like a lot. I need to wait till the rain stop and continue my work such as bought things for assignment, make a survey, walk to Yani's Rent house to do the project assignment and etc. After all i exposed to rain for three days directly. 

My body getting weak, but im still doing my project assignment and do all my chores like usual. After i exposed to rain i supposed go to the bathroom and take a bath. Since i have a lot of things to do i can't do it. So, that's why i got the fever. It's been awhile i fell sick.

On that friday, right after my Usrah, I came back to the room and sleep. My roommates nag to eat medicine and so on. I was opposed with their opinion but then, suddenly my mind have a thought on final exam. So i wake up and wear on scarv, took grab car with my roommate and went to the Clinic in Sentul. The clinic is located in UTC Sentul. I am not sure UTC stand for what, but inside that building there is a lot of department. ( I am trying to google  what is UTC )

We reached there. First thing first we went to detist, because my roommate is going to check her teeth first. After that we went to the clinic and check on me. I feel so proud! Because i went there without my parent. (Umie I am growing!) We entered the places but it was wrong. We entered baby and mom's places. HAHAHA no wonder when we entered, everyone was looking at us so weird.Because i can see it throught their action. 

Suddenly one nurse asked us "where you girls want to go?"

Roommate answered her question "we are going to check on her, she got fever."

Nurse reply "You girls entered the wrong places, you need to use another door."

and then some of them giggle-ing at us including us! HAHAHA. It tickles me.

Then I sat on the chair, my roommate go register my name. Since it is government's clinic, we need to paid for RM1. After a few minutes, my number appeared on the screen. I need to entered that room. Suddenly i felt like my fever goes away. hahaha it do happen everytime i am going to meet doctor! 

I drag my roommate too to come along with me inside the room. HAHAHA
after the doctor check on me and wrote what they need. Suddenly the doctor asked me "are u having a headache right now?" and I was surprised and talk to myself "eh how this doctor know?!". ( I WAS SO JAKUN GUYS).After she check on my body's temperature by using thermometer. But she just scan it on my dahi.
And i was like "oh ha yes yes"
After she check on me. She passed me the card and said that i need to wait at the next room. Like what? I thought that I am done with the check.  I sat on the chair back. "I JUST SAT DOWN" and then my name was call by one of the nurse. I entered room number 4. (I still remember).

This time the doctor was different. I thought the same doctor. I just got fever not injured or got any damage. The doctor check on my blood, nadi and ask a lot of questions. I feel like an interview session, hahaha.  After check on for the second time. The doctor said "okay you can go back and go to the pharmacy follow the instruction blabla."
I took the medicine and we went back to the hostel.
I said i won't eat the medicine unless the medicine taste like an ice-cream, *giggle-ing*

Then I went back to Hostel with my roommate by bus. On our back home it was raining again, and my classmates pick me up in the middle of our way back to hostel. It is because we want to finish up our project assignment.

It was a hectic day but ya Im proud with myself.
That's all from me.
See you guys back on my next post!

Sincerely
Syasya

OPERATION part 2

Peace be upon you, I am back readers.

As I promised that I will post up soon the next part is it?
So on that week of when I was done with an operation I had a registration to pursue my study.
I still with my condition, can’t use my right hand. Heee

Before this I can’t wait to meet new people and continue study BUT after this things happened I felt like why does time flies so fast? And I am not ready yet with everything.
That registration day was on Saturday and I had a day free before the orientation week’s start.

I was thinking about how my roommates be like?
How my classmates like?
Can they help me due to my condition.
* I am sorry for being that type of girl* HaHa who cares?
Well feel worry is okay actually. I bet it is normal for a girl to felt that way right?

That Saturday I reached the destination on 11:30 am, my heart beat faster than usual. HAHAHAHA
I saw everyone with a normal condition, came in per person. Parents need to stay outside (under the tent).
When it turns to me, Umie need to accompany me.  Because I can’t even hold my pen.
*I use right hand for your information*

Everything include signing of the letter and so on umie did it for me. 
*well I felt pity for myself because I can’t do it by myself and I felt sorry towards umie too.*
Why so complicated girl?

SKIP

Sunday began. I need to load in my things into the car. Ayah, brother and maid help me to load in the things. The car just left my place and we’re heading to the destination. I am so glad because I already packing up my things a week before. As umie said we didn’t know what is going to happen in the future.

I arrived the destination. I got to be sit with two girls. They were my new roommates! I am so excited to get to know about her but I felt scared to ask her first what does her name?
Umie start the conversation first by asking what is her name? What course did she took.
Yeahaa. I got to know what is her name! So I know what I wanna called her later on.

Ayah, umie and maid help me to unload the things from the boot to the room. They help me to manage my things. Ayah also help me to ‘pasang cadar’ + arranging my cloth inside the cupboard.
Umie also help me to arrange my things, my bag and documents. 
While maid help me to iron my scarves that I should wear on Monday. She also help me to swipe away all the dusts inside the room.

1 hour past everything done. We went out for dinner. Bought some food and drink as I didn’t eat much food and I need to be prepare with all that kind of snacks like (bread, biscuits, cereal, milo 3in1 , sweets and some drinks.)  Everything went well, and I was sent back to the campus. I need to wave + shake hands towards umi ayah for the last time and it was the saddest part actually. Well I am stronger enough okay *:p* so no worries , no cry.

Normally in the morning I will shake hand, hug and kiss umie ayah before I go to the class.
*I thought that was a normal thing son or daughter do to their parents right? So what’s up?*
 




This is our last picture before we being apart.

SKIP

I got to talk with my roommates. Let me introduce first their name ^^





Left : Dilah. Middle : me.  Right : Aini

I am going to enjoy my daily life with them, and I need to remove the ‘shy’ thingy inside me away and enjoy every single thing with them. We talk a lot till the midnight and we slept.

I got a million of things to share! Till we meet again heeee!

Good Night peeps!

Sincerely ,
syasya

OPERATION ??

Assalamualaikum ,

It's been a while. Since my last update is about JPJ test.
Yay , I went through a lot of things for this last 2 months.
Explendid! I don't know where to start.
But i think that i am going to share with you guys about
How i spend my day in ward for three days .___.

HAHA
so here we go, last two weeks (18.07.2016) i went to hospital for medical checkup before i entered university.
Out of blue I need to be admitted due to my nose.
Erk what happened to my nose?

Since 2015 my nose keep on bleeding. Once it pop out , its' pop out like a mountain larva and it took a lot of times to make it stop.  So i went to Pantai Hospital and met the specialist for nose and bone. After the session ended. The doctor said "you need to stay here because we gonna make an operation...blablabla).
Splendid!  that time i feel like i wanna ran away as fast as a flash.

Skip

So I stay in ward from monday to wednesday .
I supposed to have an operation on Tuesday (19.07.2016) but doctor said they need to postponed it on Wednesday (20.07.2016).
Before an operation session start I need to fasting start on 12 am till the operation is ended. So can U imagine that i'd been fasting for thw whole half day on Tuesday and got postponed. Hahaha.

My operation session took almost for 3 hours. wuhhuuuu. Good job syasya you did it!
Eh no , Good job doctors you both did it <3
Well , I had 4 personal's doctor right now HAHA.

Well this is my newwwwwwww experience for me actually!
I used to be a strong girl before, because i was the one who is hardly to fell sick or get admitted.
But not for this time.
Wait, what, why, and how did it happened actually....?
Back then I told you already about the nose, am I?

Nose part is actually caused of when i was 5 years old back then. On that time it was eid day, got a little kid ran around my living room and suddenly that kid hit a partition and that thing fell down on me. That time i didn't give any reaction because i didn't cry at all BUT the side effect turn it to right now when I was bigger. My nose got a lil bit bengkak that's why my nose keep on bleeding non-stop.
So that's all, to get more clearer and to help the bleed stop doctor need to do something towards my nose. Hahahahahaha.

Now, moving on to the next part.
Let's talk about my hand. What on earth suddenly i need to operate my hand?!
It happened suddenly when it was ramadhan month. I just found out something "bump" on my wrist. So I told my parent about it. After doing a checkup , doctor told me that it was a 'ganglion cyst'. Well before I met the doctor I already make an online survey actually hahahhahaha.
*advanced right? I know ^^*


so this is the ganglion cyst :} looks like small thing but it actually quite big for me. 



So , I met the doctor just to make it double confirm. And what makes a lil bit sad is, that there is no other solution other than operation??!

*Damnnnn* But why?

It tooks me a few days to accept the fact actually.

Before an operation day happened. I sent a passage to everyone and ask for forgiveness , if there was anything happen during the operation session. Because that 'ganglion cyst' is around my radius and it was really near to my 'nadi'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Assalamualaikum , Saya farzana syasya ingin memohon ampun dan maaf atas segala salah dan silap yang ade selama kita berkenalan . Bagi yang mengenali saya secara luaran atau dalaman , Baru mahupun dah lama Dan rapat atau sekadar teman dilaman sosial. Saya menyusun 10 jari memohon ampun dan maaf atas segala salah dan silap saya sepanjang kita berkenalan. Mungkin ade yang terasa dalam berkata. Maafkan saya jika ada salah dalam bicara , terguriskan hati atau tercakap kasar secara sengaja atau tidak sengaja. Jika ada terkata belakang atau terguriskan hati semasa perbincangan mohon maafkan . Minta halal jika saya pernah makan atau minum makanan dan minuman daripada anda semua. Doakan saya ðŸŒ¹. Yang benar , (syasya)
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so this is my outfit of the day (OOTD) :}


Alhamdulillah 3 hours passed well inside operation theatre.
 I wake up on 4:00 pm if I am not mistaken.
I was sent back to normal ward. I just open my eyes for a short while and I slept again. 'Ubat bius" very tough i guess and make me feel so sleepyyyyy all day. And yaaa right after i wake up i ask a permission to go back home right away! HAHAHA.

"i don't want to stay in the hospital for such a long time. I really dislike medicine and so on...Zzzzz"

Skip..

I slept again at home. That moment i really feel so starving for food haha i didn't eat for the whole day!

Side effect that happened to me is :-

I can't use my right hand for two weeks (minimum days) months (maximum days).



I need to wrap on my hand because doctor operate in between the end of my carpals to the radius part. ( I used to be a Biology's student) hehehe.



On this opportunity , I would like to SAY BILLION OF THANKS to Umie Ayah for always stay beside me. For your non-stop loving, caring, pray and support. Thank you to everyone who pray, send a warm wishes for me and for those who did a visit. I couldn't count on how many people did pray for me and gave me non-stop warm wishes. I really do appreciate it A Lot! Seriously, sincerely. May Allah repay back  every pray ,support and every single thing that every each of you did to me. May Allah grant my parent a Higher place in Jannah.

*I cried while typing this*




And thank you to kak Faie for the donuts! Heee


I should stop my writing. I will continue part 2 soon! Real soon seriously.

Sincerely;
Syasya
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