Being STRONG is the only choice
Peace be upon to
you, It’s been awhile since my last post about loving yourself.
Alhamdulillah,for
everything. Every little things matter the most. I finished my diploma, in Jun
2019. Apparently I survived although I said I can’t endure this pain.
Surprisingly I became stronger than before just because of this one person.
Thank you for entering my life. I learned a lot for 3 years in Gombak. Malay
people use to say this “asam garam kehidupan” gituuu. Im pretty sure everyone know that;
No one is sent by
accident to anyone. They’re meant to cross our path for a reason. Either they’re
a blessing or a lesson. The ones who build you up or the ones who tear you
down. But in the end, you’ll thank them both for who you are now.
Diploma’s life just
ended. I just finished my one step to a real world, I have many more steps to
go, to endure and to struggle with. People come and go. I learned a lot that no
one will stay in your life no matter how good you treat them. But that does
not mean you should stop being kind to people. Do not change the kindness in
you just because of one person that treat you badly.
I trust this word “if he/she’s meant to
be in your life he/she will be.”
I have a story to
share, I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. Never in my life’s plan to get separate with my favorite person.
(let say I give her initial name Q) Allah took Q out from my life 8 months ago
and today Allah returns Q back to me. We never contact each other. See? Who could
even imagine this things will happen. I never had a thought that I will talk
again to Q.I am so blessed and I know this is all part of Allah’s plan. In the
end Allah will save the relationships with those who deserve to be in your
life. Allah won’t give to you on what you WANT but Allah S.W.T will give on
what you NEED. Allah will brings certain people in your life to teach you,
inspire you, help you grow, make you laugh and make you strong.
If you know the things I
went through, the experiences that left scars underneath my skin, you will
realize how ugly I have been. Wonderful will be the last thing that comes to
your mind whenever you lay your eyes upon me. But, I still loved myself and
even getting proud of myself.
I received quite a lot
of Dm's on “how to be strong like you”. I am not that strong actually but being
strong is the only choice I have. If I didn’t do it then who else will? Let’s zoom in a little bit deeper, if I
choose to give up, what will happen to me now? I am not sure I will be here to
write this post. Whenever you feel like giving up with your life, remind
yourself of how far you have come from a place you never thought you’d get out
of. Even you might not be where you want to be yet, still acknowledge and be
proud of the growth you’ve achieved so far. You made it this far, do not give
up now. Just remember that better days are coming. Yesterday might be crazy,
today might be worse, but better days are coming. Have faith in Allah always. Trust
me that Allah’s timing is perfect in every matter. We don’t always understand
the wisdom behind it, but we have to learn to trust it.
I still remember when I
was so down with my life, where my parents went to perform hajj, and Allah sent me lots of tests, too many people who I loved the most left me alone. And I felt lost for that moment. I am the eldest and I don’t have sister or brother to
share with. In that time I hold a lot of commitment, where I need to check up
on my mom’s kindergarten, I need to check on my little brother in Tahfiz.
Im super glad that I have a maid who I can trust with taking care of the house and my little brother. Not
to forget, my sahabat! I am so grateful that I have super supportive roommates who always cheer me up whenever I feel down, giving me hug when I need. Allah
won’t simply take out someone in your life without replacing a better one.
Here’s a little bit
reminder for all who are currently struggling with yourself. It’s okay for not
knowing the answers yet. It’s okay to be a little bit lost, scared, and forget
how it is to figure things out. It’s okay to stop for a moment and forgive
yourself for being a work of art in progress. It’s okay to bleed and have scars
here and there. It’s okay to fail and get back once again when you’re ready. It’s
okay to go one step at a time, to take things slow. And to be gentle to
yourself. Because every good things take time. Remember that!
I know it’s hard to
stay strong and optimist all the time, there are time when you crumble and collapse
but that’s alright. You can always learn to stand up back. Sometimes Allah will
ask you to release the thing you want the most. That’s a test. If you past
the test, at some point, He’ll either give back what you want or He’ll bring
something better in your life.
To anyone who are currently struggle with their emotion and surrounding just to let you know that you’re mattered, you’re loved and you’re needed.
To anyone who are currently struggle with their emotion and surrounding just to let you know that you’re mattered, you’re loved and you’re needed.
Today,
Kiss your scars,
Apologies your
heart.
Today,
Fall in love with
yourself.
Strength is not always
in what we say and do, sometimes it is in what we are silent about, in what we
leave or ignore. Life is a learning process. If you think you want to change do
not hesitate but do it now. Don’t procrastinate. The clock ticks. And it will
always be. If Allah said it is for you, it will be yours. If Allah said it is
not for you, you try so hard it is not going to be yours. Kun Faya Kun.
(Tuhan kata jadi, Maka jadilah). Just deep the fact that Allah S.W.T
has protected us from so many things we didn’t even know about and He has
blessed us with so many things we didn’t even pray for and yet we still
complain. Be grateful.
P/s : Thank you to all
my close friends who checking up on me. I remembered this one time they said “It’s
so hurtful seeing you like this.” Now, I found my strength and myself back
again and I’m really grateful.
I end my writing with
this quote;
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed
on people who didn’t cut you.”
Sincerely:
Fs.
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